Day 15 (Week 2 weigh-in)

Since I last posted I had some sort of 24 hour bug that gave me horrendous trapped wind. I had to drag myself out of bed on Sunday afternoon feeling like hell on toast to close my rings on my Apple watch. After walking and sitting for a while I felt a bit brighter and better if a bit bloated.

I don’t get bloated, it’s not my thing, but there I was, Bloaty Mcbloatface. I assume it’s partly to do with the digestive imbalances you put yourself through in the first few weeks – I had terrible issues my first time round on this.

So, I weighed in this morning, not expecting the greatest weigh in due to bloat and relative inactivity and it only being 6 days since my last weigh in due to last week’s bank holiday – and at first I was disappointed with what appeared on the screen but then I worked it out in actual kg rather than the rounded numbers you get for the xxst xxlbs reading and I was 2.5lbs down! My usual pattern is 10lbs wk 1 and 1-3lbs wk2 and then a bigger loss in wk 3 – so let’s hope I’m on track for that. And overall I have lost a stone since this time a month ago, so that’s a good move.

Still feeling a bit stunned and withdrawn from the illness over the weekend. But lucky I have rescheduled some stuff that means I could afford to lose the day and a half.

I’ll start to show the actual numbers on here once I have 4 weeks under my belt – I’m still a bit gutted that after 2 weeks I am where I was when I first started VLCDing 11.5 years ago – but these journeys have to start from somewhere and on the very bright side, I have successfully completed 2 weeks!

Day 13

There really isn’t much to write when you’re sticking to the plan. I am. Sticking to the plan! So that’s good. Woke up super early today and found a corner of central London not even I knew about. I found a courtyard with a small section of preserved Roman pavement from a street I used to walk down every day. Incredible really – the sort of thing you find when there’s no-one around and the city is quiet and you go through a door you are not sure that you are supposed to go through. So I went through it and I found this. An example of the things I don’t just run into when I am not an a VLCD because I would have been asleep until much later.

 

Been having a very productive week – I think the thing to remember is that once you are a way into a VLCD – usually after the first week or so – you suddenly have a lot more energy.

I wrote quite a lot last night after getting home from work and picked up a good book and couldn’t put it down for ages and I ended up being awake until well after 11pm which wasn’t the plan – so when I woke up at 6am I had not had a full night’s sleep – one REM cycle short. But I determined to keep to the getting up at around about 6-6.30 habit as it has been working very well for me recently and so I did – after my morning’s errands I came back and had a good long afternoon nap to make up for the incomplete night’s sleep. From experience, splitting my sleep like this is absolutely fine as long as I have the full REM cycles undisturbed. I was a bit annoyed that it took 3 hours of such a gorgeous day but I guess I had the lovely weather to myself this morning.

Back at my desk right now to do a bit more work. I do want to go for a bit of a walk in the early evening so I’ll crack on. I’ve got my beloved butternut squash soups at last. I do fluctuate between 3-4 packs and when I eat the soup I do have the craving for another chewy meal because I am so used to three bars rather than 2 bars and one soup.

Nothing much else to report. Will have a weigh-in on Monday morning which is fun. I’m aiming for a particular figure, but who knows if I will achieve it!

 

 

Day 9

Oh yes, there was a weigh in!

I was thinking what the worst it might be and it was 2lbs lighter than that and 3lbs heavier than my wildest dreams. Still not a weight I am comfortable about sharing (I will share the numbers once I’m 4 weeks in) as it’s over my original Lighter Life start weight 11.5 years ago (crazy to think I was less than 10st this time 11 years ago)

I am at the point where I am craving savoury very hard – I really do miss Cambridge’s Spag Bol – lucky that my beloved butternut squash soup will be here tomorrow (I HOPE!)

Anyway – there we go. I lost about 11-13lbs I think – not too bad!

 

 

 

Day 8 – No weigh in

Well – Boots isn’t open so I can’t weigh in. So it will have to be a Day 9 weigh in. I feel pretty good but until I start reporting losses there’s not much to write about here.

That said I have been having an interesting time observing my feelings around food. There are some themes that I’ve spotted that weren’t exactly clear to me before. Times of day, places, routines to which I have attached new food rituals to. Also I did a lot of asking why I wanted to eat over the weekend and there was one of those lovely little breakthroughs that usually indicates I am going to have a good run on a VLCD – I openly acknowledged that I may very well break the ‘fast’ and eat something to make me feel better but that that good feeling only lasts as long as it’s going in my mouth. As soon as the eating is over, what then? So I managed to talk myself through the feeling that made me crave the comfort.

Nothing brand new – but nice to observe myself without just giving into it.

Day 7

Here we go again. This time I waited the full first week before committing anything to writing on here. I feel a little more determined at the moment. Still battling the same 3 stone. I have done a textbook week. Closed all the rings on my Apple Watch every day, only had 4 packs on two days whilst trying to get into it and off for a weigh in tomorrow morning.

I’ve signed up for a cheap gym that will be opening up near me shortly and I have Better Swim membership so I can swim in the lido whenever I want. I’ve been Boris Biking to work every day for the the last week so I’m pretty active each day…feeling good – was terribly grouchy on the evening of day 1 and I managed a friend’s birthday picnic yesterday so as week 1s go it was as difficult as I would expect but easier than it has been before.

I’m using Exante as I still can’t believe Lighter Life don’t have a single counsellor in actual London any more and the Cambridge profiles for my area haven’t compelled me particularly – it would be difficult to find one that was as good as my favourite one (and it helped that she had come to VLCD’s through my LL Counsellor)

So I’m doing it alone. This post sounds really negative…I feel pretty good – it’s been a hectic and moody few months at work and being in ketosis this week has really helped my focus.

Anyway…er – just to let you know that I’m back on it and there is a weigh-in tomorrow. Not that I actually know my starting weight – but I have a fairly good idea what it was and it wasn’t great. My jeans are loose though, so that’s the main thing!

Day 8 – week 1 weigh in

Week 1 weigh in 18st 9.5 down to 18st 1 – 8.5lbs off.

Yesterday was a weigh in day but I was so busy all day that I just didn’t have time to post my results. Scores on the doors for week one are 8lbs down – which given that I only had two 3 meal days and the rest were nigh on 1100-1400 calories isn’t too bad. It’s not quite the giddy highs of almost 13lbs off in my first ever week on Lighter Life, but I’m not on 600 calories a day and only on liquid food. I still can’t believe I did 10 weeks without bars on LL.

Yesterday morning was stressful – I came in with one plan – spend the first 90 minutes on another last minute thing that was sort of my fault/not my fault – and then I had a 2 hour lunch to attend. Luckily it was a buffet lunch so it was easy to walk around with my coffee and sparkling water and I didn’t pay the sandwiches any mind. I kept thinking about how dry they would be and I didn’t actually fancy any of them – so all good there.

After work – I wanted to get my steps in because I have averaged over 10k steps a day in May so far and I wanted to keep that up – so I wandered around and I found myself wanting to eat. I ummed and ahhed and did a lot of looking-up online and in the end I went with a Pret Tuna Nicoise salad with no dressing. No more than 300 calories. It did the job. I’m at the stage where I know exactly what eating simple carbs will do to me so that’s good.

Oh – I forgot to say that when I had my protein meal on Saturday night, Sainsbury’s roast chicken slices which I had used as a protein stop gap are now disgusting – really sweet and pumped full of all sorts of crap, the recipe has definitely changed – so I won’t be having that again!

I’m also having issues having my next Exante delivery delivered – I can’t carry it home from work and although there are people in my apartment all day I can’t guarantee any of them will open the door to the delivery so I might (gasp) run out of bars this week if I’m not careful.

I had weird thoughts yesterday about how long it is going to take me to get to a sensible weight. I’m being filmed at the end of September and if I don’t stay committed for the next 4 months with absolutely no room for mucking about I’m going to feel awful about the film.

I’ve been battling with my weight for nigh on 30 years now and I am so so tired of it. I wish I could feel good about being this weight – but I don’t. I do not look the way I think I do. More on that later.

Day 4-7

This post is a bit all over the place – for reasons which will come apparent halfway through Day 4

Thursday – Day 4

I got through last night  (Wednesday) by going to bed super early (I think I was asleep by just after 9) and then I woke up at 6ish. No work today as I had taken the day off. Caught the bus to go and do some paid market research tests for a tech firm – hilariously all to do with food, but I’m in Day 4 so I was unbothered.

At the time of writing it was 3 pm and I didn’t have breakfast at breakfast time, I had a bar after the morning meeting at 11.15am and I’m now in a library doing some work for my theatre company – the library is gorgeous – here’s a quick snap of where I am working today…

Lucky old me.

I am debating whether to do one of those diet bet type things to keep me motivated over the next year so I did a bit of research on the best one to use and the general legalities/checking it’s actually valid in the UK as they all seem to run from the US. I’m trying to decide if I want to do a 6 month bet to take me through working in Switzerland in the hotel with the amazing food again and up to my friend’s wedding in Ireland (which would be a target of about 60lbs over 6 months) or whether to go for the full goal bar the last stone in a year and try to get through Christmas and working abroad and all in order to try to get me out of the on a diet/eat anything and everything binary relationship I have with food! I’ll some back to that later.

Day 7

Sunday

After I had this in draft I got home at abut 8pm and found out that my mum was in hospital (but I hadn’t seen the initial text) – we’re on Day 7 now (Sunday) and it’s turned out that Mum’s okay but it was a bit of a scare – but she seems to have been very well looked after even if the food sounds terrible.

I’ve had a quiet weekend. I was kind of beating myself up yesterday for not doing what I had planned – but my first weekend on a VLCD is often a bit cloistered. I went for a walk yesterday evening and ended up buying 300 calories of protein to eat and having an extra bar – so not the best of days, but I got through that all important first weekend. I walked past the pool that will be my weekend go to if I join the posh gym near work again. The posh gym near work is closer to walk to (in fact Tower Bridge is the closest) but they are all underground gyms so I wanted to check out what the pool is actually like – it was stunning – it has a full panoramic view of the Thames at sunset – just the kind of pool I like. But much like all other pools in the chain there was a hairy man eating by the pool unchecked (it’s always men, and they are always hairy). I have such low regard for people who eat in pool areas. It’s so unhygienic!

Friday was pretty bad as week 1 evenings go – I had a lot of talking myself down to do. I was super grumpy. But I’m through it all now and hopefully it means that I’ll have a lot fo energy for the bank holiday weekend. I already have a lot more energy and I know I am at least 1/2 a stone lighter. Looking forward to my weigh in tomorrow – it’s going well – I feel pretty bright and energetic – I just have to go through that weird transition of priorities and getting out of the habit of having to organise food and replacing that with useful bit not dull activities.

Of course I watched the third most important wedding of the year yesterday (Saturday) – as one online meme quipped, ‘I may be a republican/communist, but I want to see the dress!’ – and it was a nice thing to chat to my mum about over text and phone whilst she’s stuck in hospital. Stunning music choices. Beautiful light on the dress…yeah – that was a nice wedding – laughing that people seem to think it was a bit out there – obviously haven’t been in a high CofE ceremony recently – you can pretty much do what you want as long as it’s respectful and legal.

Today I got up super early and walked up to Columbia Road to the flower market – bought tons of houseplants and fresh flowers for just over 30 quid – all the while listening to proper cockney barrow boys giving it some and laughing at the banter. I stopped for a coffee and saw that my friend was about to start the Hackney Half Marathon so I agreed to watch out for him just up the road from the market. A nice stroll through the park and I spend 15 minutes looking for him – spotted on the tracker that he had passed me and I was worried about my flowers if I’d followed them on to the pub so I went home. He’s lost a fair bit in the last year in training for all his running and I was really impressed at his time – he is pretty new to it all and was running with the 1:45 markers most of the way. Anyway – there’s something to aim for again – I do miss running.

Two days done. Ketosis mouth is here

Day 2

So here we go…I had a very good day with not a thought of food – got a bit anxious in the evening so I had 5 bars in total yesterday which wasn’t ideal – but anything to get me back in the swing of things really.

To shake things up I did something I normally don’t do and got the tube up to my favourite park straight after work – it’s up a huge hill so normally I would have waited for the bus – but the bus stop wasn’t where I thought it was so I kept walking (and ended up beating the next bus of the hill by a long way anyway)

The park at closing time

Game face on! Hair’s a bit weird because it had been in a ponytail all day.

I hung out in the beautiful park for 2 hours and then got the tube home. Which got me through the awkward munchy part of the day or the ‘sod it I’ll go to the pub’ feeling. Had a bath as soon as I got in. And then straight to bed. I need to come up with a slightly more sensible routine – but this first week back is about doing what you can. I’ve walked well over 11k steps both days so far this week so I’m moving about a bit.

Did more research on gyms. I really should just join the ex council gym group as it has a lido within just over a mile of my house and a few pools within 30 mins walk of work and home…but to be honest almost £60 a month for not the cleanest setting (the lido has just been refurbed but the changing room always has a muddy dirty floor) and for none of the gyms to be within 20 mins walk of my office (one of them is about 10 mins walk from my home).

I even looked at Barry’s Bootcamp – and then went ‘HOW MUCH?’ The prices are insane. I could have a personal trainer twice a week at a posh gym for what they charge to go regularly. Maybe I’ll ‘treat’ myself when I’m a bit more svelte and up to getting the most out of just the one session (if I did it now I would collapse in a puffy sweat after 5 mins). But I can’t afford the habit as even if I only go once a week I’m looking at the same as a decent gym membership.

Anyway – Day 3 is to plan so far – bit of a stressful morning but all in hand now. Tomorrow I have a day off to go to the library (I know!)

Back once again…

Hello! What’s going on?! I’m back!

I think the last time I posted just over a year ago I was in the process of applying for a more senior job that lots of people applied for – well the good news is I got it! I’ve settled into it now – it’s been around 10 months. We lost my grandmother over Christmas, I had a half hearted start in the new year but with funerals and stuff in January I wasn’t really feeling it.

I’ve moved from North London to the proper East End! I now live 30 mins from work. And despite being on the border of Zone 1 of one of the world’s biggest cities, can I find a gym I’m happy with (that doesn’t cost the earth) nearby? No, is the answer. I could slap Pure Gym for getting rid of all of LA Fitness’s swimming pools.

I do walk to and from work almost every day apart from when I’m running late and have to grab an Uber in desperation. (It’s only a fiver and the underground and the bus take longer than walking to work, would you believe)

My bike is not in a happy state and I’m not confident enough with my weight and flexibility right now to start riding just yet (give me a stone or do to get my mojo back), so the weight has to go as I want to be able to get to work in 10 minutes!

There’s a gorgeous lido about 30 mins walk away (but in the wrong direction for work so I’d have to get the bus there) but I figured out how much the transport there and then into work would be and it seems that I would be better off joining a more expensive gym chain right by my office and saving the lido for weekends when I have time to potter over there under my own steam.

Anyway – I have decided to sole source for a bit. I go to Switzerland for a month every October with work and it would be good to be at my fighting weight of under 13st for that. So I started yesterday – I almost didn’t start yesterday.

Day 1

I have had easier day 1s.

It almost wasn’t day 1 at all. Despite making notes to myself to bring in the laundry, take out the rubbish and whatever I did to make sure I took my food to work. I did not take my food to work. I did all the other things. I remembered I had not taken the food only about 5 mins away from home, but couldn’t be arsed with all the unlocking and relocking up the flat. I suppose half-heartedly, underneath it all, I suspected that I was going to fail again.

I have never lasted out a day that hard in my life of dieting. I wanted cheese and crackers from about 1pm to 4 pm. It wasn’t a ‘it will pass in 20 minutes’ kind of thought it was the persistent disco remix of every type of cheese and every type of cracker and even sandwiches dancing through my head non-stop. I just…ugh. Why do we do this to ourselves?

After work I went for a walk. Ah – yes – since I last wrote, I have moved house to central London so my walk to and from work is through either Shoreditch or down by the river past the Tower depending on how much I want to dawdle.

After an hour of wandering (including accidentally finding a city street I did not know existed that was absolutely fascinating) I decided to see if my favourite table in a nearby pub was free as I wanted to write some stuff out. I ran up the stairs and my favourite little nook overlooking Tower Bridge was free, so I had a diet ginger beer and wrote out my thoughts and to do lists. As I let an hour later, the sun was an hour off setting so I took a few photos and wandered around the docks and along Cable Street to my home.

I slept well.

Day 2

I woke up super early but pottered about until I was ready for a little nap before my usual wake up time. I took my time walking into work…and now I am here with my food and I feel great.

11 weeks and 2st 3 down

So I’ve lost 8lbs in the last week (or 5lbs in the last 3 weeks, all told) Bringing me to the at least 2st 3 lost overall since the New Year. Not too bad.

A good loss (the station scales are still not telling the truth about my height and BMI) but it really probably should have been 10lbs as I had 6 foodpacks on Saturday and a meal for the last two nights. So much for 100 perfect days before my holidays!

I feel like I need to concentrate now until I’m at the 15st mark – which could be 4 weeks if I stick to plan, or more likely 6 weeks if I break for Easter – that all depends on what the vibe is like at home, really. I can’t get the hang of the weekends at the moment – the walking means that I am not lying in bed all weekend, but getting out of the house and wandering around triggers a lot of food related stuff. I also sussed out why I got peckish at the weekend – the heating is off so everywhere was suddenly cold at the point I had properly hit ketosis meaning I was extra cold and therefore the needing to eat thing was triggered.

I feel like I need to concentrate now until I’m at the 15st mark – which could be 4 weeks if I stick to plan, or more likely 6 weeks if I break for Easter – that all depends on what the vibe is like at home, really. I can’t get the hang of the weekends at the moment – the walking means that I am not lying in bed all weekend, but getting out of the house and wandering around triggers a lot of food related stuff. I also sussed out why I got peckish at the weekend – the heating is off so everywhere was suddenly cold at the point I had properly hit ketosis meaning I was extra cold and therefore the needing to eat thing was triggered.

Starting to feel a lot more confident at this weight though – It would be nice to be below 100kg again. 

Here we go – I am keeping on, in a fashion.